Nerd or jerk? Here’s how to tell.
Online dating has taken our social relationships by storm. Some argue that online dating has contributed to the deterioration of the traditional relational system. Others claim that the online dating experience is in line with the social-economic revolution of the 21st century. Whatever your thoughts are, it appears as though online dating is here to stay.
But one issue continues to plague online dating platforms – honesty. You meet a guy who sweeps you off your feet. You tell your friends about him, and he seems like a character from a Disneyland fairytale. Well, how do you judge if he is too good to be true? How do you know he won’t turn up to be a complete jerk some weeks later?
Well, after compiling thoughts from experts and couples who met online, we came up with this online dating guide to discover how genuine your online dating match is. Although this is not a comprehensive list of red flags, they are the most common traits to prepare you for flight.
Online Dating Points to Watch Out for
Before committing, get to know their persona. Save yourself the pain.
Reviews on flex loans indicated a sharp rise in borrowing at the peak of the pandemic. A good number of users said they were using quick cash to impress their online catch. Well, there might have been an increase in online dating reliance in the past two years, but that’s not a guarantee you’ll find Mr. Right there. It also shouldn’t put you off from trying your luck. Here’s what our online dating coach has to say when assessing the personality of your online date.
They have a Ghost Personal
Have you ever been ghosted? Well, you know how that feels. Nasty, unloved, unwanted, low self-esteem, self-doubt, and the list continues. If your dating match keeps the conversation going smoothly and then disappears for hours or even days, well, it’s probably best to move on. After all, you’ve seen enough ghosts in cartoons and Scooby-Doo to know that it always has a terrible ending.
They Sext Too Much
Your radar system should turn red when you meet that guy who sexts too much. If your online dating conversations always seem to end up “in bed” or “on the floor,” you don’t need extra pudding to prove there’s no future there. It’s easy to justify their behavior innocently, especially if they are charming. But if you’re looking for something more than a fling, then move on and find someone a little more polite and serious.
They are Cautious about Getting Personal
The past two years have been a challenge for social networks. Realizing how lonely they were, people turned to online dating during COVID-19. With more and more people barricaded and locked in their homes, the internet became the go-to for most folks looking for plain old love. It worked.
However, some souls erred on caution and decided not to share personal information. The main reason for online dating – and dating in general – is to know the other person deeper. If they are secretive about their lives or keep on diverting questions you ask them, your alarm bells should be off. Bring up the topic honestly but gently. If they persist in not sharing their life, perhaps you are not what they were looking for.
You Feel Benchmarked
In a football game or any sport for that matter, the best team players usually get the lead in any game. Substitutes wait on the bench for a turn if one of the super players gets injured. The same case happens in online dating for seniors. How so?
Your flirt may send mixed signals. They may be in the mood at times, and at other times they set you aside with an excuse.
We are all busy. If for any reason you feel benchmarked, your catch may be trying out their chance with another blonde or may not be that into you. Ask them before taking a step. Watch out if they turn the situation around and try to gaslight your polite soul.
They are a Braggart
Well, for some reason, everyone hates a fat head. If your mate finds a way to humblebrag about themselves, guess what, it will piss you off eventually. When they are not puffing themselves up, they are busy trying to get you thinking of what they look like right from the shower or gym. It is okay to talk about yourself a little, but the whole point of online dating is to know the other person.
If they can’t stop speaking about themselves, they are conceited and jerks for sure.
If it’s all ‘I’ and no ‘We,’ spoiler alert – that sucks.
Your Online Dating Bad Mouths Others
If they are nice to you, they should be nice to others. If they treat others shitty, then you’ll fall in line soon enough. Suppose they don’t have the courtesy to observe online dating etiquette and speak gently about other people in their lives. It’s safe to say that you don’t want to be surrounded by negativity. What do you think these people say about you when you are not with them?
They Don’t Live Up to their Words
Promises are like clouds, but the fulfillment thereof is the actual rain. If they have turned you down time and again, don’t just be disappointed – walk away. If their word is not their bond, how sure are you that they will stick up to anything they say in the relationship? Neglect this piece of advice if they stood you up to take their pregnant sister to the hospital or something with such urgency. But don’t let them find every other emergency to stand you up.
If they can’t own it and apologize, what does that make them? You guessed it right.
They are Rude and Offensive
Rude is neither cool nor charming. If, for some reason, your online dating match speaks rudely at you to impress you, then rest assured your chances of finding true love there are slimmer than a prison break from Camp Delta.
Not Taking it to The Next Level
Online dating articles may offer tidbits about how to take your relationship to the next level. The platform itself is the action ground. It should be gradual, but there should be some progress if they are interested. Simple steps such as sharing your contact information, meet-up, or even your local address mark progress. But not everyone is comfortable when it comes to taking things to the next level.
Are they ready to take that leap of faith with you?
If they are afraid of sharing their WhatsApp, they are either a tech guru who are invisible on the internet or have something to hide. If their phone goes off immediately after they hear you’re anywhere within a 30-mile radius of their home, be worried. You either have some digging to do or some walking. Make a wise decision if you realize they hold back certain aspects of their lives. Perhaps it’s just a past bad experience they haven’t healed from.
Our best online dating advice is to be wise when dealing with someone you can’t see. Hooking up in person is easier since facial and body expressions communicate when one is silent. It becomes challenging to judge how genuine someone is when chatting. There’s just no defined way of knowing whether they are honest or jerks. Avoid making rash decisions that may make you the jerk in the equation.
What online dating behavior would you label “jerky”?
Jade is a financial analyst and has been involved in many successful business projects with various companies throughout the country. She started writing three years ago and enjoys researching, discussing, and writing on finances, budgeting, money advice, lifestyle, and wellness. Jade loves to spend time with her family and has many hobbies, including hiking, riding a bike, cooking, and traveling.