With a worldwide pandemic going on outside, we haven’t been able to sharpen our lady-killer skills these days. The worst is behind us, though, and it’s about time we jumped back into the dating game! Maybe before you attempt to charm the ladies with the same old pick-up lines, you’d like to update your flirting game for the future.
With the online dating industry going viral for the last two years, the difficulty level of the beginning stages has increased. The pretty lady that caught your eye from across the bar has heard (or rather “read”) every line in the book. And that’s for sure!
So, now you might be wondering, “How do I approach her then?” Some might find this the obvious answer, but back to the basics we go!
A Guide to Flirting Her
Eye-contact
Before you walk up to her, glance at her once in a while and see if she’s doing the same. These signs usually indicate that she’s interested in you, too. Just be cautious: don’t stare at every woman you like, as you might scare most of them away.
If she seems too preoccupied, you can go the classic route. Ask the bartender to prepare a drink for her. You could ask the bar staff to deliver it, or you could do it yourself while smoothly taking a seat next to her.
When you finally make eye contact, let your gaze linger on her a little longer, and give her a warm smile (but don’t be smug). After that, if you notice her making sneaky glances at you, it’s time to make your move!
Be Confident But Polite
An article published by Forbes suggests that it only takes 7 seconds to make a first impression with someone, so show confidence when you make your approach.
The idea of rejection can be overwhelming when it’s been as long as it has to get back to the dating game.
If you approach her while twiddling your thumbs and stuttering, she will likely get bored quickly! However, don’t let that deter you from trying. If she rejects you, be polite!
Shouting in her face and getting defensive immediately will only prove to her (and every other lady in the room) that she was right about rejecting you in the first place.
Original Compliments
You’ve sat down next to her and made the typical introductions. Now, the tricky part comes into play – making her smile. Of course, not every woman will have the same humour as you, but you can’t go wrong with some compliments. However, avoid clichés—she’s probably heard how pretty her eyes are a million times already.
If you want her to respond positively to your advances, offer her something unique that she hasn’t received from other guys.
If she has a nice body, you could open up by asking whether she works out. Maybe her sense of style is unconventional, but that allows you to show appreciation for something most men usually ignore.
Body Language and Skinship
This is usually paired up well with a good amount of meaningful eye contact. Keep your body turned towards her, and avoid folding your arms in front of your chest or crossing your legs.
Please keep your eyes peeled for any similar indications coming from her, too. Her body language may be showing you that she is not interested or uncomfortable. It’s usually quite challenging to change a woman’s perception of you from the first sitting, so if she’s in a defensive position, then maybe it’s time you tone it down a notch.
If she seems reciprocated and welcoming to your advances, then it’s time to take some “risky” little actions. Initiate physical contact but remain cordial and gentlemanly. If you touch her inner thigh, she will most likely think you are just another pervert. Instead, you could brush her hair off her face and mirror her actions if she is initiating things.
Listen, Listen, And Listen Some More
As men, we could have a PhD in acting like we’re listening when we’re not. We know we can get away with it most of the time, too, but if you want her to care about you, you need to show some genuine interest in what she says.
Of course, not everything will turn into a riveting conversation, but that doesn’t mean you get to empty your mind while nodding and agreeing with everything she says mindlessly. Even if what she says sounds like incoherent babbling, you could learn something about her to use to your advantage.
If she likes a specific restaurant, now you know where to invite her. She could be commenting on an Instagram post; now you know she has an Instagram account. Or maybe she’s thinking of getting a new phone, so if you’re looking for something serious or a long-term relationship, you know what to get her on her next birthday.
The Importance of Humor in Relationships
As a final point to the above, remember to have fun and be yourself every step of the way. A compliment or two will make her smile, but she will feel much more accomplished if she makes you laugh.
Some women find stoic men sexy, but don’t let yourself drown in your makeshift mysteriousness. Nobody wants to talk with an emotionless husk, and you’ll have a better time together just being yourself.
So, keep meaningful eye contact, but try not to stare unnecessarily. Approach her confidently and learn to take rejection well. Make her smile by complimenting her, but don’t be an average Joe. Please work with your body language, remember to keep an eye on hers, and finally, listen to what she has to say. That’s all there is to it!
