With a worldwide pandemic going on outside, we haven’t managed to sharpen our lady-killer skills much these days.
The worst is behind us, though, and it’s about time we made a jump back into the dating game!
Maybe before you attempt to charm the ladies with the same old pick-up lines, you’d like to update your flirting game for the future.
With the online dating industry going strong for the last two years, the difficulty level of the beginning stages has gone up. The pretty lady that caught your eye from across the bar has heard (or rather “read”) every line in the book. And that’s for sure!
So, now you might be wondering, “How do I approach her then?”. Well, some might find this the obvious answer, but back to the basics, we go!
A Guide to Flirting Her
Before you walk up to her, glance at her once in a while and see if she’s doing the same, these are usually the first signs that show her interest in you too. Just be warned, we’re not suggesting you stare at every woman you like, as you might frighten the majority of them away.
If she seems too preoccupied, you can go the classic route. Ask the bartender to prepare a drink for her. You could ask to have it delivered by the bar staff, or you can do it yourself while smoothly taking a seat next to her.
When you finally make eye contact with each other, let your gaze linger on her a little longer, and be sure to give her a warm smile (but don’t be smug). After that, if you notice her making sneaky glances at you, it’s time to make your move!
Be Confident But Polite
An article published by Forbes suggests that it only takes 7 seconds to make a first impression with someone, so show confidence when you make your approach.
When it’s been as long as it has to get back to the dating game, the idea of rejection can be overwhelming. If you walk up to her twiddling your thumbs and stuttering every word that comes out, she is bound to get bored and quickly! Don’t let it stop you from playing, though.
On the off chance that you get rejected, be polite! Shouting in her face and getting defensive immediately will only prove to her (and every other lady in the room) that she was right about rejecting you in the first place.
Alright, you’ve sat down next to her and made the typical introductions. Now, the tricky part comes into play - making her smile.
Of course, not every woman will have the same sense of humor as you, but you can’t go wrong with some compliments. Although don’t go basic here - she’s probably heard how pretty her eyes are a million times already.
If you want her to engage with your woo-ing attempts, then give her something she hasn’t gotten from other guys. If she has a nice body, you could open up with a question about whether she works out. Maybe her sense of style is unconventional, but that allows you to show appreciation to something most men usually ignore.
Body Language and Skinship
This is usually paired up well with a good amount of meaningful eye contact. Keep your body turned towards her, and avoid folding your arms in front of your chest or crossing your legs.
Please keep your eyes peeled for any similar indications coming from her too. She may be showing you that she is not interested or uncomfortable through her body language. It’s usually quite hard to change a woman’s perception of you from the first seating, so if she’s in a defensive position, then maybe it’s time you tone it down a notch.
If she seems reciprocated and welcoming to your advances, then it’s time to take some “risky” little actions. Initiate physical contact but remain cordial and gentlemanly. If you touch her inner thigh, she will most likely think you are just another pervert. Instead, you could brush her hair off her face, mirror her actions if she is the one initiating things.
Listen, Listen And Listen Some More
As men, we could very well have a Ph.D. in acting like we’re listening when we’re not. We know we can get away with it most of the time too, but if you want her to care about you, you need to show some genuine interest in the things she says.
Of course, not everything is going to turn into a riveting conversation, but that doesn’t mean you get to empty your mind while nodding and agreeing with everything she says mindlessly. Even if what she is saying sounds like incoherent babbling, you could find out something about her that you could use to your advantage.
If she likes a specific restaurant, now you know a good place to invite her. She could be commenting on an Instagram post; now you know she has an Instagram account. Or maybe she’s thinking of getting a new phone, so if you’re looking for something serious or a long-term relationship, then you know what to get her on her next birthday.
As a final point to the above, remember to have fun and be yourself every step of the way. A compliment or two will make her smile, but she will feel much more accomplished if she makes you laugh.
Some women find stoic men sexy, but don’t let yourself drown in your makeshift mysteriousness. Nobody wants to be talking with an emotionless husk, and you’ll have a better time together just being yourself.
So, keep meaningful eye contact but try not to stare unnecessarily. Approach her confidently and learn to take rejection well. Make her smile by complimenting her, but don’t be an average Joe. Please work with your body language, remember to keep an eye on hers, and finally listen to what she has to say. That’s all there is to it!